Where are you now?

So,I wake this morning to find my husband didn,t come home last night. He left last night to saying he was going to work with his brother on something. I asked doing what with a reply of, "I don,t know." Afte calling evry half hour this morning, I have not received a call back or a text saying if he is o.k., where he is at, or if he is coming back at all. Which I know he has to come back due to a Dr. appointment tomarow morning. We have had several troubled times in the 11 years we have been married. Even a 9 month separation after the first 2 years. I just do not know if I can handle the non-communication any longer. I have said the whole time that he needs to be more expressive with feelings and emotion. Let me know what is going on with his work and friends. There are days when we hardly speak at all. Road trips are quiet and long. I am beginning to think the only thing we have left in common anymore is our girls.
About a month and a half ago my 12 year old thought she would run away. He was here asleep while she came in and packed her stuff up and started heading down the road. I saw her as I pulled out of the church parking lot and she got in the back seat and balled the short distance back home. When I told him about this, he said that it wasn't a big deal. I told him that he is not here even when he is home. He is gone every other week on an oil rig. I am left here to handle school, sports, bills, attitudes, chores, and everything else that we should be doing together. I am always the bad guy in this house. I am the one who has to deal out punishments and make them do chores. Even when he is here, he is so tuned out and says he doesn't want problems and doesn't want the kids upset with him. SO I guess it is o.k. for them to be mad at me. He spends time with the girls playing games and going to families house to play with the nieces and nephews. He takes them to stores and lets them get what they want. I am glad he does this. But, what he does not understand is how alone this has left me.
In his absence I have acquired a gambling problem. I know why I do it. In there, there is no time. I set down and zone into the machine. No thinking of bills coming, the lack of interest of my husband, my mother stress, lawsuit stress, or house work that needs to be done. I have met some fun people too. I get conversation with adults on their life and what juicy gossip is going around. Sometimes, yes, I over spend. Mostly I come out even or a head. There people are not coming at me with drama and wanting answers to life's problems. Believe me when I say I am seriously thinking of getting up and going right now. But, the laundry is calling so goodbye for now...